So Dawn, my wife and business partner, made me get into this thing called Twitter. I wasn’t happy about it. I use the Internet (mostly Wikipedia and YouTube), send emails, all the usual suspects. I even write blogs and employ online, interactive websites in my workshops. What more do you want from me, electronic fiend?

You see, I’m not a Twitter-type person. I’m a book-worm, not a computer nerd or a gadget geek. Heck, I’m virtually a Neo-Luddite. I’ve blogged before about my appreciation for the writings and ideas of Neil Postman, one of the most famous opponents of mindless technological advance. I’ve got form.

Then I was forced to… well… tweet. There’s no other word for it. She made me tweet in public, in front of others. (My first tweet is displayed above.)

But, oh no, that wasn’t enough for her. Next she was making me download something called TweetDeck, to make it easier to keep tabs on my nefarious tweeting activities.

At first, I found the process vexing. I tried to squeeze the essence of each daily activity into a meagre 140 characters. I did not succeed. But then, after some further strenuous effort, I found it even more arduous. I took to quoting quotes or attempting to invent something profound. I sat in front of my screen, hands through my gently greying hair, desperately trying to think of something, anything, to tweet about. The pain, the pain…

Then, in a final, fatal act of desperation, I thought I should take a look at the people I was following. Maybe they could help me think of something to say. Maybe they might even prove amusing in some nerdish way. Maybe it would be like having a sort of, you know, a kind of, what you might call – a “conversation”.

Then I made what I can only call ‘A Series of Astounding Discoveries’:

  • Discovery One – There are some interesting people out there in Tweetville.
  • Discovery Two – I can learn stuff from them. (As I’ve confessed in my Twitter profile, I’m a ‘knowledge junkie’ among other things, so this discovery was well-nigh impossible to resist.)
  • Discovery Three – I can make business contacts. (This is Sparta? No. THIS. IS. NETWORKING!)
  • Discovery Four – If you live near them, and if you can find them, then maybe you can meet up and talk business. (Lattes are compulsory.)

So far I’ve had the pleasure of meeting up with two fellow tweetees: Stephen Brown from The Adventure Team and and Derek Hall from EO Creative. Great guys, great prospects. One dude – Paul Anthony from Webdistortion – was even cool enough to sponsor my team in the forthcoming Belfast Marathon! What more can I say?

I’ve been transfomed from a Twitter virgin into a…

I’d better stop now.

(No tweeting Monday, I’m running a leg of the Belfast Marathon with the Spartan Speedfreaks.)