A Day in the Life of a Trainer briefcase

This is a series of humourous blog posts entitled A Day in the Life, mostly drawn from my own experience, and that of other professionals who confess all to me over tea and cake…

06:00 Get up

06:30 Gather materials, laptop

07:00 Leave house

07:05 Return to house for all important memory stick/handouts/suit jacket/phone/pass

07:10 Leave driveway

08:00 Arrive at venue, wait in reception for 25 mins, to be told there is no sesssion, get new directions

08:25 Leave venue (just as session is due to start) and commence driving to alternative site

09:20 5 minutes from new venue, receive (hands-free!) call via mobile to say session is at the original venue

09:55 Arrive back at original venue

09:58 Start session (well, I’m superwoman, ain’t I?), elegantly crawling under desks to plug in, floating delightfully around the room to move desks and chairs, distribute manuals, and rearrange the fearful back to the front, all while simultaneously conducting my introductory session

10:45 Hunt down the nearest mug of Earl Grey and take a long slow gulp

11:00 Deliver first part of session to be told by the attendees that it was not what they were expecting

11:05 Realise organiser has neither talked to attendees as part of their TNA, nor communicated the agreed agenda to them; rage professionally (think: poker face) while simultaneously rearranging content and emphasis, examples and off-the-cuff exercises, discussions, and group-work mid-air; retain all this planning in brain, while delivering current session

13:00 Earn your weight in gold as you charmingly answer all questions related to the topic, including research conducted since 1202, through your questionably lukewarm horse-flavoured lasagne and yummy coleslaw; no, of course you don’t mind talking shop over lunch, it’s what you live for

14:15 Notice the guy at the back who seems to have lost consciousness throughout is actually the office Scrooge, and take others’ apologies for his rudeness and lack of participation as graciously as one can

15:25 Feel smug that the theories, exercises, roleplays, discussions and debates have finally driven home the agenda, and at least two thirds of the class are better at [insert new skills]; continue to be polite to those who behave like wains

16:10 Whinge silently at the one person who will write either nothing at all, or some thinly veiled cryptic comment against management on their happy sheet

16:25 Talk at length with the person who has gained the most of of the day, because you have “changed their outlook/life/attitude/direction” (no, really, we do get such gushees, and it’s lovely, truly)

17:10 Schlep all your stuff out to the car, to begin the journey to the next adventure, physically and mentally exhausted, but happy

Trainers! What are your experiences?

Image credit: aghrivaine.